Healthy Boundaries for Healthy Relationships

 

Today, we’re talking about one of the most important subjects regarding healthy relationships: boundaries.  
 
Nowadays there is frequent talk about boundaries in our culture and oftentimes people misunderstand the word, thinking a boundary is something you're going to do or say and that you're going to draw a line in the sand. But today I want to talk to you about something that is more common with boundaries that people or you might not know about. Let me explain with an example.  
 
Say I have a couple – let’s just say a man and a woman. The man is completely at peace and all of a sudden the woman gets angry with him, and then he also immediately starts getting angry. So, what is happening in that dynamic is that her anger transferred over to him… and that happened because he did not have an emotional boundary, meaning that...

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The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

 

Today, I’m going to be talking about a topic that’s received a lot of talk in our society and therapy: self-esteem. Now, there’s a lot of interest right now in trying to understand what self-esteem means. I know that I have many clients who are parents that think that the way to give their children self-esteem is by praising them… but that often comes from a lack of clarity of what they’re really producing in their children. Most likely, what parents want for their children is to have self-worth.  
 
So, really, what we’re going to talk about is self-worth, and the difference between self-esteem and self-worth.  
 
Self-esteem is something that you give to somebody to elevate his or her self, whereas self-worth is something that is inherently present, already in you. Any of us – or any of you who are parents – can see within your child that...

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Why Regular Therapy Doesn't Work When Treating Love Addiction

 

Today I want to talk to you about why regular therapy usually does not work to treat love addiction.  
 
What’s love addiction? Well, if you find yourself loving someone with such an intensity that at the end of the day you’re left feeling in pain and emotionally drained; or if you feel a profound need to receive love, acceptance and approval from others, and when you don’t think you are getting it, you feel as if you have little worth… among other things, that’s love addiction.   
 
From the time we are born, especially from the ages zero through five, we’re pretty unconscious. We begin developing consciousness in our pre-frontal cortex at about the age of six. Anything we see during this time, or experience – especially with our parents – goes into the back of our brain, our limbic area, where they are stored as...

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How to Know If Youā€™re Having a Healthy Relationship

 

Have you ever wondered what it means to have a healthy relationship? Being in a healthy relationship means you have good and stable adult relationships that work. But what does a healthy relationship actually look like?

Before we can see what a healthy relationship looks like, it’s important to see what an unhealthy, or bad relationship looks like.

In an unhealthy relationship, you often think you already know the other person really fast. For example, I’ve had clients who have gone on two, three, four dates and they can say characteristics about the person they’re dating just based on what he or she is saying, or based on what they’re assuming… without really, really getting to know that person—not only by what they’re saying but also by how their actions back up what they’re saying. You cannot know somebody and be in a mature relationship until after you’ve gone out with him or her more than a few times.

This also happens when...

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